Always been you.

So much has changed in the last four months. So much.
From family, to personal health, down to a moment of a boy who should’ve asked before acting.

I am different. Understandably so.
Yet through it all, it is the thought of you that pulls me through.
I will not beg. I will not even ask because I know my answer.
But if you ever find your way back to me, I will be here.
Because it has always been you. Every tear. Every smile. Every thought. And every poem.
It’s always been you.

It is not hope you come back that I hold on to. It’s not hope at all.
It is just a decision. A decision that I will not settle for anything less than the greatest love I can have.
You are that greatest love.

My mind is different. I am different.
I no longer contemplate over the things I have no control. I no longer care for the amount of smiles I receive in a day. I no longer care because I am okay with being alone.

I no longer depend my emotions on someone or something else.
I choose how I want to feel.

If you ever come back, know that I am different. I cannot say if it is for the better or for worse. That decision would be yours to make.

Either way, know that it has always be you. And it will always be you.