Thursday, January 21, 2016

January 21, 2016

Today is January 21, 2016. which means it is my anniversary, well at least it would be. today would mark 2 years with my ex and honestly i do not know how i feel about it. 

its all bitter sweet. i remember the good times i spent with her. i remember spending most of my days laughing with her, adoring her amazing smile, and thinking how i was the luckiest person in the world for having her. 

now, today is turning into just another normal day. well at least it started off that way. i hope things get easier over the years, because anything worse than the feeling i have right now i will not be able to handle it.

But, if i could tell anything to my ex right now i would still say "I love you," but i would also say that i dont need you. 
   
                            "dear ex,
                 i still love you, but i dont need you. i am okay and i hope you are too. today has been rough and maybe thats because a part of me will always feel the hurt and maybe that will never go away, but i think im okay with that. i think its okay to hurt, its the day i wake up and things dont hurt is when maybe i can finally move on. but for now, im just going to focus on myself and i hope you will too. 

               i hope you find what you're looking for, and i am sorry i couldn't give you what you needed.


                                                  love,
                                                            Jess. "

here's to hoping i can make it through the night, goodnight reader. wish me luck.

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